War Machine

Although my tolerance for American "oorah" war propaganda may have been declining over the past few years, there are excellent examples of films that use a very militaristic and almost Americana-inspired framework, and hit... well, the mark. Furthermore, I have repeatedly enjoyed "the man in the field against seemingly insurmountable odds", a premise where good actors have been able to stretch their legs, from DiCaprio in The Revenant to Amber Midthunder in Prey.

But War Machine is not a good example of either, neither as a piece of inspiring pro-militaristic hyperrealism, as a "man in the field" film, or just as a relaxed piece of casual entertainment in the company of the broad-shouldered guy from Reacher.

It's actually worth revisiting the aforementioned Prey, as the premise is very much in the slipstream here. New Ranger recruits are about to take their final exam in the field, but what they think is their target is actually a war machine (war machine - get it?) from an alien planet, which recklessly hunts down the soldiers, who comically insist on calling each other by their Ranger recruit numbers, even after the alien superior force begins tearing them to pieces. In the midst of this, we find the traumatised 81, played by Alan Ritchson, who tries desperately to find something human and relatable here, but simply cannot save the embarrassingly poor material.

There are those who have praised War Machine for being "old school", cliché-ridden entertainment from a bygone era, but I say that War Machine is really just stupid. Not "stupid entertainment" in the way you refer to your guilty pleasures at home, but just unintelligently constructed.

Think of Prey - that film wasn't perfect - but it managed to gracefully set up a violent confrontation with an alien superpower with a prey that turns out to be harder to kill than first assumed. The Predator is scary, it's skilled, it has an iconography that immediately sets the scene. Compare that to War Machine's heavy, boring, uninspired enemy - like an AT-ST interpreted through a cheesy JRPG - it's neither scary, expressive, nor exciting to watch.

And then there's Ritchson. I can see that there are many who love his honest, physical presence in Reacher, and that series has apparently also given him scenes and arcs that suit his temperament and strengths. I won't comment on his general ability here, but I will say that War Machine undoubtedly makes everyone involved worse actors than they probably are. The tragic past with his brother, played by Jai Courtney, doesn't really land, especially when it's supposed to serve as a kind of impetus to "step up" as a leader.

There are plenty of "stupid" films out there, simple constructions with just enough honest, lowbrow entertainment value that you can easily switch off your analytical brain. But War Machine simply makes your eyes roll all the way to the back of your skull. It's not as self-aware as others praise it for being, and therefore I feel very confident when I say, "watch something else!"